It ain't easy being a Dick

I've got an head I can't think with
An eye I can't see out of...
I have to hang around with two nuts all the time...
My closest neighbour is an asshole...
Worst of all,my owner beats me all the time...
And my best friend is a Pussy!
And now because of Aids,
I have to wear this rubber suit and throw up all over myself!
I aint't easy being a Dick!